Digimon: The Abridged Series
by cardwiz
Summary: The transcripts from the abridged series by KaiKoshimoro
1. Introduction

This is the transcript of Digimon The Abridged Series on Youtube by KaiKoshimoro/Goldbergfanatic (Who I'll just refer to as Gold). Gold does the mixing for the series (picking vid clips and putting the recorded voices to the character). The voices are done by Gold, his brother, and The Bodyguard. The first 3 episodes were written by Gold, and episodes 4 and hopefully beyond were/will be predominantly written by me, Cardwiz. So in order to promote the series, I'm putting the episodes done so far here on those who don't know what an abridged series is, basically it's a fad started by littlekaribo on youtube with the Yu-Gi-Oh abridged series that shrinks an episode of an anime and pokes fun at it. That abridged series became so popular other abridged series popped up everywhere, most stunk, but a few like the Yu Yu Hakusho and Naruto were done very well. Now I'm not comparing this series to those, but I think ours is pretty good and has potential, so that's why I'm bothering to get the name out. Hope you enjoy and check out the vids.


	2. Episode 1

Digimon the Abridged Series: Episode 1

Tai- That's home, planet Earth. But I'm not sure that's where I are right now. It all began when the climate went really wonky. And Godzilla attacked Japan, oh never mind that always happens. However I wasn't aware any of this was going on because I was at summer camp.

Generic camper1- HEELLLPP! Michael Jackson is in my tent! Somebody help!

Generic camper 2- Screw you kid, you're not a main character.

Tai- By the way, this is me, Tai. And that's Sora. Mmmmmm Sora. And that's Matt. Hey, why is his hair cooler than mine. And that's Izzy. He's too busy getting an advanced copy of Spiderman 3 at the moment so we'll leave him alone. And that's Mimi, she's not becoming useful anytime soon. And that's TK, he'll become useful later, I promise. And that's Joe. We had an online poll to see who should be the leader of the show. 99 of you said Joe and 1 said "I like pie". Wait a minute. I got beat by pie?!

And that's Kari…wait where's Kari? Where's my sister Oh God!

Kari (back home)- Tai?

Tai- I can't believe we forgot her, she's going to beat me with a toaster!

Anyways on with the story, wait a minute it's snowing. In Summer. Holy crap Japan is screwed up.

Izzy- Spiderman 3 is mine. Limewire be praised. _Do as you want cause a pirate is free, you are a pirate._

Matt (while looking at lights in sky)- Does anyone else see what I see?

Joe- I do.

Matt- Ok then I'm not high. Yet.

_Digivises fall to Earth_

Tai- Sweet! Free MP3 players.

Joe- I wouldn't touch that if I were you.

Tai- What's the worst that could happen?

_They get sucked up by title wave_

Sora- If we survive this Tai, I'm going to kill you!

Tai- That was not fun, at all. _Sees Koramon_ Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

**One hour of girly screaming later**

Tai- Wait, so we all have digimon? How many are there?

Koramon- As many as there are bad Lincoln Park AMV's on Youtube.

The Following is a public service announcement

Tai- Hi, I'm Tai Kamiya from Digimon. I'm here to tell you that there are too many Lincoln Park AMV's on youtube. And you need to stop. By the way, does anyone know how many there are?

Vegita- It's over 9000!

Tai- What 9000?! And just so you know, for every Lincoln Park AMV uploaded to youtube, the staff takes down an episode of Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged series. Just tell Littlekariboh the reason his series was taken down was because you wanted to make a Lincoln Park AMV. I'm sure he'll understand.

_**LittleKariboh:**_

_**My Anti-Lincoln Park AMV**_

_Kuwagamon attacks the group_

Koramon- Everyone attack!

Tai- What's going on!

Izzy- The evolution of this world is amazing, Darwin would be impressed.

Tai- Oh you know evolution is a myth like the Loch Ness monster, Bigfoot, and Paris Hilton having any talent.

_Digimon attack Kuwagamon and Kuwagamon breaks the ledge they are on_

Tai- Hey, we're about to die and it wasn't my fault this time. Awesome, I mean, will we survive this? Tune in next time on Digimon: The Abridged Series.


	3. Episode 2

Digimon TAS episode 2

Sora: Why is it taking so long to fall?

Tai: Because its funny!

Sora: No its not its stupid! Its as stupid as The Butterfly Effect 2!

theme song

Matt: How did we survive that?

Gomamon: School of fish had a school reunion.

_cricket chirping_

Joe: Gomamon you lose your talking privileges.

Gomamon: _groans_

Joe: If only there was a pay phone near by we might be able to call for help.

Tai: That was lucky.

_picks up phone_

Operator: The number you are dialing is not in your calling area please hang up and never call again.

_hangs up phone and picks it up again_

Operator: What did I just tell you?!

_does same thing again_

Operator: Oh you are so F---ing dead!

Matt: what happened?

Tai: I was just threatned by the telephone operator.

Izzy: Yeah like that's believable.

_shellmon appears_

Shellmon: I am shellmon and I represent the phone company we told you to stop calling now prepare to die!

Tai: Oh F---!

Agumon: Must… overcome… the… odds!

Cena's Theme Hits, Agumon digivolves to Greymon and overcomes the odds

Tai: Okay so its established we all hate Telephones right?

Everyone: Right!


	4. Episode 3

Digimon The Abridged Series Episode 3

Matt: So we've been here for like three episodes and nothing really interesting has happened.

Tai: Its anime law the series starts off kind of boring but picks up in a few episodes.

Matt: Inyuyasha would like to have a word with you on that.

Tai: Inyuyasha doesn't count.

Matt: Why not?

Tai: Because nothing ever happened in Inyuyasha. EVER!

Joe: It doesn't help our series that people consider us a pokemon ripoff.

Tai: We have never ripped off pokemon. Now hit the the theme music.

_Pokemon Theme plays instead of the digimon theme._

Matt: Tai you ass.

TK: Matt, Mom only let's me eat fish sticks.

Tai: Go ahead and eat you're hanging with big boys now.

Matt: No don't corrupt the poor child!

A Little Later

Tai: Matt whats up with you and TK?

Matt: Things have been tough ever since our parents got divorced and I've had to take care of him since we came to the digiworld.

Tai: Why did your parents get divorced?

Matt: Well…

_Flashback to Matt and TK's parents_

Mom: I want a divorce.

Dad: Why?

Mom: You're not romantic.

Dad: I'm very romantic thank you.

Mom: The most romantic thing you've ever said to me was "Bend over I'm in the mood".

_Scene cuts back to Matt_

Matt: I don't want to talk about it.

_Sedramon attacks_

Tai: Oh that giant sea dragons going to attack us!

Mimi: It's going to mess up my hair!

Caption: The Horror!

Matt Gets captured by seadramon

Gabumon: Matt I'll save you but the water is going to make my fur stink.

Caption: The Horror!

Gabumon digivolves to Garurumon and saves Matt

TK: Matt you're safe I was so worried.

Matt: Shut Up TK.

Tai: All right the day was saved lets get out of here.

Caption: The Horro-wait never mind.


	5. Episode 4

Now we're getting into the episodes that I've been writting. I hope you enjoy and please give the vid's on youtube a chance before placing judgment please.

I don't own digimon or the concept of the Abridged Series.

Abridged Script Ep. 4

_overhead and distant image_

Tai- Dude, Chuck Norris is so awesome that when the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for him.

Matt- Yah, I also heard that Chuck Norris is so great that he counted to infinity – twice.

TK- I really don't see what the big deal about stupid Chuck Norr _**SLAP**_

Tai- Now what do we say?

TK- Umm, Chuck Norris is God?

Matt- Good boy.

Sora- We're 4 episodes into this show and so far the girls haven't done anything productive. So I demand we spend this time to talk about how I feel about that.

Byomon- That's so hot _Byo starts rubbing against Sora_

Sora- What are you doing?

Byomon- Nothing. stops

_show Matt seeing the telephone poles in the desert_

Matt- Hey guys lets leave the forest where we have shade and water and go into this possibly endless desert because of a hunch.

Group- Yah. That sounds good. Brilliant. Etc…

Mimi- Look, my watch turned into a spinner. See. _compass spins_

Gomamon off screen- Spinners stink.

Augumon off screen- Take that back poopiepants.

Gom off screen- But I don't have pants.

Sora on screen- Stop it you two. We have enough room in our groups for people who don't like spinners and the posers who do.

Byo- Yay my Sora always figures things out. She's so smart. _rubs Sora again_

Sora- Ok enough with the furry lesbian undertones.

Guys- Awww

_Tai pulls out telescope_

Tia- Hey is that…IT IS! It's the island from Lost!

Joe- I love that show! I hope I can meet Claire.

Mimi- Hmmm Hugo I mean I mean Sawyer.

Izzy- Great, I can finally test my theories on time travel and alternate dimensions.

_in village_

Joe- Ahhhh, attack of the killer radishes!

Mimi- Calm down, don't insult the twerps until we mooch off their hospitality.

Radish thing 1- You seem nice, drink all the water you want. Anyone can drink it who isn't thinking impure thoughts.

Matt- Whatever, anyway Tai did you see the way Byomon was rubbing against Sora. You just know that the two of them are going to _fire comes up from fountain_ HOLY $#&!

R T1- Great job, now you've done it.

Tai- Done what?

R T1- Ticked off the FCC.

R T2- Yah, you don't &#$ with the FCC.

Tai- Why is he on fire?

R T1- You must have really ticked him off. I haven't seen him this mad since he found out about the different abridged series on youtube.

Tai- Ok, but that doesn't explain why the hell he's on fire!

Sora- Exactly he shouldn't be mad at us. We didn't start the fire.

Mini-It was always burning since the _SCREECH_

Goldbergfanatic- Whoa whoa whoa. Two other popular abridged series have already done a joke with this song.

Bodyguard- Cardwiz couldn't think of another song or pop culture reference with Fire that would work.

Goldbergfanatic- sigh We are so going to get heat because of this.

_vid starts again with the tune of Billy Joel's We Didn't Start the Fire_

Tai- Billy Joel music?! Run away!

_the digimon attack while FCC grows bigger_

Sora- It's no use. We're going to get cancelled.

Byo- Not if I can help it. _digivoles and the final battle sequence happens_

_after battle_

TK- Yay we won!

Izzy- Wait so attacks with air and electricity make him bigger while fire attacks, which he is freaking made him weak? WTH!

FCC- Exactly, Birdmon's ridiculous strategy was so illogical that I have decided to change my ways and from now on, all abridged series can live on in peace.


End file.
